A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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