I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
