You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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