Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize