You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
