Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
