How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Randomize
