her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
