Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
