is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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