I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
