How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
