Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
