Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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