dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
