just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
