I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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