Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
NoShamevember. You game?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
