I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
