i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
