Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
