How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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