let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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