3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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