Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
