Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
