true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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