yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize