I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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