I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
