i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
