I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
