her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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