My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
