i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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