Im at strip club and am horny
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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