Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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