I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
it's great music for shaving your balls
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
