Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
