i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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