i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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