We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
