pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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