I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
...so i touched it.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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