This is not my ceiling
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
