Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
