I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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