Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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