Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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