She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
we're so committed to being not committed
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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