we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
What changed your mind?
Being sober
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
