You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
