If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
