i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Randomize