I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
