I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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