All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
