Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
