She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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