i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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