My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize