The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
