I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
