Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i think i have two assholes
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
