Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
