how can u be prego again
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
