U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize