Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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