marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
