haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
