There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
