did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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