Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
