how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize