I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
