I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
