just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
