Small penises have feelings too.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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