i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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