I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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