ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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