found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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