the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize