just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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