he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
