Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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