At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
