I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
